Some time back, a visitor to my web site e-mailed me saying that he was "very interested in hearing about [my] conversion and some of the key things that the Lord has taught [me] as a believer." I hadn't previously included my testimony on my site because I felt that our school logo (with the cross in the center and featured prominently throughout the site) coupled with the articles about Christian participation in Eastern martial arts made it clear that I was a Christian. I still believe they do. However, the personal testimony of a fellow martial artist and brother in the faith, Danny Young, was such an encouragement when I read it on his web site that I felt sharing what Christ has done in my life (it is NOT about me, but Him) might likewise encourage others. In that hope alone, I share the following: |
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I was baptized on September 19, 1971. I say "baptized" because
I was saved (accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior) the Thursday before. Prior to that
I was what I often refer to as a "cardboard Catholic" (that is, a Catholic on paper only).
Spiritually, I was best described as an agnostic. Oh, I acknowledged the fact that there
might be a God out there, but I seriously doubted that He could really be known by any of us.
Dick is a Christian. Worse, he was a Baptist (to a Catholic growing up in Georgia – even a cardboard Catholic – the most dreaded of all proselytizers was a Southern Baptist). Dick began witnessing to me, and, as you might imagine, my first question to him was, "You're not a Southern Baptist, now, are you?" He assured me that he was not. (He failed to mention that he was a "Bible-thumping, Devil-kicking, King James, INDEPENDENT Fundamental Baptist!" ) Still, Dick somehow talked me into committing to attend services at Denver Baptist Temple for six weeks. It just so happened that my work schedule prevented us (my family and I) from attending for the first three weeks. Little did I know that had I not shown up on the fourth Sunday, Dick would have met me at my door the following Sunday. Fortunately, the Lord knew that such an act on Dick's part would immediately turn me off, so on the fourth Sunday we were able to go. We sat in the very last row. I had never seen such a sight. There were people there waving handkerchiefs and shouting "Amen" and "Hallelujah" throughout the service. I was a bit overwhelmed to say the least. After that service Dick asked me what I thought. "Well," I said, "it's different." (Was that ever an understatement !) However, as weird as those folks seemed, I had given my word, and I would "endure" five more Sundays. During those first weeks, we were visited a couple of times by both Dick and the pastor, Al Lacy. My sweet wife accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior on the fourth Sunday (she was always smarter than I). She was also baptized the same day. As you might imagine, I had all kinds of deep theological questions for her like, "was the water cold?" To make a long story a bit shorter, on the Thursday before our fifth Sunday, while lying in bed on my right side, facing our west, paint-peeling wall, I asked Jesus to save me. Just to be sure, I asked Him again on Friday and Saturday nights as well. Wow! He did. He lifted my despair, gave me hope for the future, and turned my life completely around. I still had much to learn (still do), and I made some awful mistrakes in the process, but He is faithful and He continues to love me, even when I make myself downright unlovable. That is our conversion story. 2 But what has God done for us since then? God does not stop with our conversion. He is both the author and the finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2), and there is always much to learn. Of the numerous lessons learned in our walk with Him, the following are my mile markers. Mile Marker Number One
Reading this, however, was really good for me. (All scripture is given by God and is profitable – even the "bad" parts.) I finally came to King Manasseh, the worst of the lot, and read in 2nd Chronicles how he was taken prisoner by the Assyrians and was cast into prison (by some accounts, his captors put out his eyes as well). Then, in Chapter 33, from within the bowels of that dark Assyrian prison, Manasseh cried out to God for forgiveness. (He was not merely sorry because he had literally hit bottom, but because he was genuinely sorry for all the evil he had done.) Amazingly, when he repented, God instantly, lovingly, and unconditionally forgave him! It was then that I fell in love with God. Now, I could say that I knew enough about Him to know that I was not only indebted to Him, but I loved Him as well. (Never as much as He loves me, but with all the heart and soul that I can muster.) Mile Marker Number Two
Mile Marker Number Three
Wow! What a lesson! God knew just what kind of break it would take to keep me from drifting away from Him. After almost a year in the cast, it took another year of training before I could actually strike a hanging bag with my left foot. What a lesson. Ask God to direct your life (and specifically by suggesting ways to do it that we think will not be too bad) and you will be surprised at His hand. When all that happened, I knew He caused all this in answer to my prayer. The fact that God loves me enough to even interact in my life at this level is absolutely amazing. Mile Marker Number Four
Mile Marker Number Five
Mile Marker Number Six
As Thanksgiving Day, 2004, approached, I didn't feel very thankful. Clearly, by any standard, I had much for which I should have been thankful. I am a citizen of the greatest nation on the earth today. (I don't say that in a boasting prideful manner, but in humble gratitude – I could have been born in Darfur.) I had a good job.3 Yes, I grumbled about this, that, and all the other things employees typically complain about, but it was, nevertheless, a job for which I should be very thankful – I could have been unemployed. I had a sweet wife who, although desperately ill then, had encouraged me and supported my labors all these years. If any good thing flows out of my life, it is due in large part to her. Even the success of our marriage is largely because of her love for myself and our sons. For that I remain ever thankful. Speaking of our sons, we have two for which I should be very thankful. Gilbert is blind and suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, but he uses the one talent God has given him to its fullest, not hiding it, but serving and glorifying our God with it (see Luke 19:11-27 to understand the significance of that). His older brother, Tony, is a man whose tremendous skill with his hands is exceeded only by his character as a man, a husband, and a father. No earthy father could be prouder of his son than I am of him. Our daughter-in-law is one most in-laws can only dream of having, and our two granddaughters are beautiful in both body and spirit. How could you not be thankful for them? And yet, I dreaded that Thanksgiving Day. What would I say at our Thanksgiving table when, as is our tradition, each recounts three things for which he or she is thankful? What could I say with my sweet wife suffering so? How could I be genuinely thankful for all my blessings, with her in such pain? I cried to God about this repeatedly. "Life sucks," I told Him (thankfully, lightening remained in the heavens despite rants and ravings that bordered on insolence.) Then, the Sunday before Thanksgiving Day, I was reminded of what for which I should be MOST thankful: namely for His undying love toward us. I heard a pastor on the radio quote Psalm 106, verse 1. "Give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever." Good! Merciful! My wife is suffering unspeakably and . . . Before I could continue my tirade, I was reminded of the following verse: "I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us" (Romans 8:18). An unbelievable peace then flooded my soul as I recognized that "the glory which shall be revealed in us," was purchased by Christ's willing sacrifice of Himself on the cross, on our behalf. That fact alone put "Thanksgiving Day" back into proper perspective. We must, I must, therefore, give thanks to the Lord for His mercy, for although I deserved hell itself (as do we all), He has so richly blest my wife and I with life eternal. And my wife's sufferings, which I would have done anything to remove, were still not to be compared with "the glory which shall be revealed in us." She suffered greatly, but the reality is that her glory would so far exceed her pains as to be incomparable. We remained distressed and deeply saddened by her condition (is that ever an understatement!), but we were at least, thankful to God during that season of Thanksgiving. For all the things listed above, yes, and for His goodness and mercy. Reflection
My dear wife experienced ultimate healing on Monday, January 31, 2005. Her memorial was the following Friday, February 4th. Terry's wish is (is, because she still lives) that we not mourn her passing, but rather that we rejoice with and for her, for she is in Heaven now and completely free of all pain.
A New Life Begins
Terry and I had known Mary Jane for nearly a score of years. When she was a student at Colorado Christian College, she stayed in our home for a short time. Eventually she felt led to change course in life. She moved to Seattle and later, returned to her family home in Santa Fe. Throughout that time, she remained a close family friend and stayed in constant contact with us, visiting often. As Terry's condition worsened, the frequency of Mary Jane's visits increased to monthly, even helping with memorial arrangements just days before Terry went home. God's word tells us it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18) and He knew I would not survive Terry's passing by myself (believe me, that is no exaggeration). Two thirds of my life, all but three years of my adulthood, spent with the most wonderful woman? How could I make it alone? Terry knew that as well, so in the year before she went home, she was preparing both Mary Jane and myself for our eventual union. Knowing I would remarry (taking care of myself without her would be tough enough, but taking care of our blind and developmentally-disabled son as well, would be much more than I could handle) . . . knowing that, about a year before she died, Terry asked, "Have you considered Mary Jane?" I replied that as my wife she was my main concern and that I could not afford to think on such things. That was the absolute truth; I simply could not afford to think on such things at the time. However, I had considered Mary Jane – but dismissed the thought as soon as it entered my mind. Simply put, I preferred petite brunettes. Mary Jane is a tall blond. (As I write this it sounds soooo dumb, but what can I say.) Although my feelings about Mary Jane began to change following Terry's passing, I didn't really think it would work. Mary Jane was enrolled in a radiology program in Santa Fe with two more years of education ahead of her. I thought, "I can't wait a long time; I'm not getting any younger." And frankly, after having spent a full two thirds of my life with the most wonderful woman, I desperately missed feminine intimacy – not just the physical relationship (sure, I missed that; I wasn't that old), but the companionship, the conversation, and the partnership. It also occurred to me that Mary Jane, who was 36 at the time and had never before married, had a father who is just 14 years older than I. How would he take our union? Talk about a deck stacked against you! Everything told me this would not fly. Mary Jane saw barriers of her own. Not surprisingly, one of her major concerns was that others
would perceive her as the proverbial "maid in waiting." (I guess, in fact, she was – at least it
seems by Terry's actions and God's will.) Mary Jane also wondered what Terry would think of our
interest in each other. I told her I thought she would approve. That's the way Terry
was – always wanting the best for others, always wanting the best for me. And as Mary Jane and
I think back now, our interest in each other starts to look as if it was part of Terry's plan (or, as
one of my friends suggested, "Terry's revenge on Mary Jane" ).
Mary Jane – Favor of the Lord
Mary Jane poured her heart into helping and working with Gilbert, but he resisted everything she tried. However, to her credit, she did not let that stop her. Recognizing his behavior as some kind of developmental disability, Mary Jane sought help, even taking classes for parents with similarly developmentally-disabled children. In the process we discovered that Gilbert suffers from Asperger's Syndrome – a type of Autism (something neither Terry nor I ever suspected). He also suffers from Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Although there are many possible symptoms of Asperger's syndrome, Gilbert's main symptom is total opposition (even hostility) to any kind of change in routine. (It doesn't take much to see how Terry's passing, followed by Mary Jane's appearance in the family – despite the fact that he'd known Mary Jane for as long as Terry and I had – exponentially exasperated that symptom.) To make this story shorter, let me say that through Mary Jane's efforts, she and I have received
the instruction needed to help us make Gilbert's life both happier and more productive. Neither Gilbert
nor I could not have been more blest by the Lord, than we are by His giving us, Mary Jane.
Mile Marker Number Seven Mary Jane's parents have read through the Bible more than 30 times in 30+ years. Seriously. Terry and I had been through it five times in our 40 years together. Following the great example of Mary Jane's parents, since our wedding Mary Jane and I have read through the Bible every year. What makes this a "Mile Marker" for myself is how much I have actually grown in my knowledge of, faith in, and love for our Lord during these years. In fact, I seem to have learned more this past year of going through His word than I did in all the years before (I know, I know, it is because I'm such a slow learner ). Seriously though, combined with readings of all sorts of biblical books and articles along with our daily Bible reading, going through God's word like that really grows us spiritually. Such has made this a real "Mile Marker" for me.
Mile Marker Number Eight
The journey continues . . . |
Footnotes:
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Last update:
Aug. 6, 2016 by Bob Orlando |